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THE ALMONER%u2019S GUIDESpeaking to the bereaved or somebody dealing with a trauma The following pointers are helpful when supporting somebody who is bereaved or dealing with a trauma: %u2022 Act naturally and be genuine whilst remembering to take cues from them.%u2022 Use tone of voice to help calm somebody down if they become emotional. This helps people take in information and think more clearly. %u2022 Help them to make decisions for themselves and suggest choices or options.%u2022 Be willing to sit in silence and don%u2019t force the conversation if they don%u2019t feel like talking. Often, just knowing that somebody is there is a great help.%u2022 Offer practical help such as grocery shopping or signposting to specialist organisations, but avoid making general statements like %u201cIs there anything I can do to help?%u201d. Be specific and say %u201cI am going to the supermarket later. What shall I pick up for you?%u201dManage expectations A perceived failure to deliver something that was promised can be extremely detrimental to a relationship. In more extreme cases it can lead to a permanent break in contact. Try to understand what an individual expects to happen and then be clear and honest about what can be achieved. Don%u2019t make promises about decisions that will be made by other people %u2013 for example, the outcome of an application for financial support.2. KEEPING IN TOUCHIt is much easier to maintain a relationship than it is to re-establish broken links. In addition to speaking with members and their families on a regular basis, make the most of other opportunities. For example, rather than simply sending a birthday card and flowers, follow it up with a phone call or arrange to deliver the gift in person. Ongoing contact is a key tool in identifying emerging cases of need, and providing a chance for individuals to ask for help.3. RECORD KEEPINGKeeping good records is essential. Useful information will include: %u2022 Name, address, telephone number and email address for all individuals who will need to be contacted. This may include brethren, including those who have resigned or have been excluded, widowed partners and other dependants.10